Lochlan’s 8th: Baseball, Fidget and mohawk

Seven was going great and then COVID hit and the world just kind of turned into a puddle of goo. Lochlan kicked off his 7th year playing soccer and enjoying the holidays. Then I started getting worried about the world outside as Christmas approached and the news from China about a new fly strain being seen in hospitals. I finally broke down during the holidays and registered Lochlan for little league baseball. First, let me just say that little league takes itself to seriously. Poor Lochlan ended up on not just a team with no friends, he had no friends in the whole league. He did manage to have one classmate from preschool but that was it. 

We started Baseball in early February and the kid was glowing and papa was glowing right along with him. I tried to make this their sport although between clem and I, I played more baseball than he did. Papa did great with teaching him and being involved with games and practices. Then right after their second game, COVID made that dream crumble down to the ground. I don’t think he was emotionally damaged by it but it didn’t help things. 

We were also considering summer league swim team that summer as well. All things sports just disintegrated. We made the best of it. The kids became more and more active at home, a lot of bike riding and a lot of scootering. By the holidays Lochlan again pushed away from the usual start of year ticks he develops from school. Then distance learning became the law of land and we were right back in the bucket of ticks. We started to see them manifest about a month into school at home. What we realized was the stress of learning at home and a push into a new section of creative writing was the culprit. Add me as their teacher and there you have a huge stress bomb. 

Looking back, while we were still trying to figure out learning at home with daddy. There were things we could have done to stop the progression of his ticks. I recognized that piling on extra work by the teachers was exhausting for him and me as a parent. It was difficult to determine what was required or what was extra. Ultimately, I decided to move away from being the kids teacher at home, and focus on being their wellness advocate. I stopped teaching and hall monitoring their daily tasks. My stress level went down and Lochlan’s brand new tick of nodding his head, slowly disappeared. 

As Distance Learning progressed into Spring, Lochlan started to grasp working at home. When we moved into the Fall, I made some major changes to their learning environment by moving them from the kitchen table to their bedrooms. One of the other major problems for all the kids was working next to dads office area and having be quiet the whole day because he was in meetings. I was stuck by the kitchen table setup because I wanted to get away from the kids having too much freedom with an ipad in the privacy of their rooms. What I realized is the loudness of dads back to back meetings all day. Was creating a stress level for all three kids. 

Over the summer I decided to clear out a wall in both bedrooms and purchase ikea desks and chairs to give them their own work space, away from the loudness. The best decision I ever made! Now I am not going to sugar coat it. There have been hurdles with things like, the kids watching youtube videos when they should be working on classwork or fidgeting in their swivel chairs. I am treating any problem as more of learning opportunity. The twins lost one major game on their iPad recently due to youtube incident and they need to earn them back as well as show us that they can respect our rules. 

That said, quarantining at home has been a huge lesson of patience on my part. Same for the kids, especial with emotions, which are high at this age.Sometimes when you are sitting on a zoom, you might not understand something and you just need help with more information. He ran into this problem back in first grade during distance learning and again with second grade. Teaching the kids how to identify these emotions, and how to solve the problem is certainly a long game thing, that I will be doing well into middle school and probably high school. 

That was one way to deal with the chaos of distance learning and then was bringing out the hair clippers and bringing to life a request he has had since his second year of preschool when his friend got a mowhawk. Lochlan has been begging me to get a mohawk for almost 4 years. When we hit that brick wall during April, that was it. I need to change and he needed a change. What better way than chopping off your hair. His Britney moment, one could say. He loved it. The grandma’s not so much. But it was about him. I wanted to give him more armor in battling this cruel world he was being forced to live. The mohawk was a hit and well now it’s growing out because he did it. It was just another step towards being Lochlan. 

While Mohawk was a fresh start, it was evident during our only travel trip this summer to McCall, Idaho. Lochlan was still struggling with other things. He was in heaven at the lake. He wasn’t a big of fan of a speeding inner tube. What he loved was being on the boat. When Papa pulled up to the dock after picking up our boat rental. He wanted to go out in the boat right away. Early into the trip Lochlan kind of hit a wall with his sisters. One thing he does struggle with was attention, and feeling left out when the girls fell into their sisterly bond. One day he was not having a good day and I could see it. 

We went out in the boat later that day to do some runs on the tube. He was enjoying the boat but with the girls in the water, you could see he was kind of bothered how close and giggling they were with each other. Then it was dads turn to get in the water with the girls and I could see Lochlan growing sad. Before we started another run on the water, I called him over and had him stand between my legs and help steer the boat. In that moment it was like the sun had come out and dried up all the rain. Lochlan was hooked. I had him drive with me a few more times after that day. He loved it. While he wasn’t a big fan of swimming out in the middle of the lake next to the boat. He was over joyed with his taking the steering wheel and guiding us through our adventure. 

The ticks came and went with distance learning in the spring and again in the Fall. Over the summer the started to take a break. Today with his 8th birthday here, he’s doing better. He does struggle now and then but honestly, I think every kid is struggling in their own way with learning at home. I’ve been apart of community meetings or parent support groups during these crazy times. What I have learned is each kid is dealing with their own hurdles at home. I don’t think any kid is going to escape the trauma that quarantine or distance learning has created. 

Lochlan is resilient though. He does bounce back and one thing that is for certain. His bond with his dog Auggie, has grown greatly. We got the dog back when they were 6. At first the twins weren’t a huge fan. But after his 7th birthday, he started to bond more and more with the dog. With quarantine that bond and interest in Auggie has grown greatly. He’s constantly showering him with affection and love. Their bond has grown greatly in the past 7 month. I think if I would let the dog sleep out of the kennel he would be in bed with Lochlan every night. Sadly I am not that parent, and that one is on me. Yuck! 

For his 8th year. I wish that Lochlan returns to the black top with his friends and more importantly back to baseball which he was truly loving, deep down in his heart. He’s still our little rule enforcer and he’s still learning how, when and where that should manifest. It’s his personality and he will wear it with a badge of honor for the rest of his life. We did have a fun moment this Fall with distance learning. At one point he had it in his head, that because he was born one hour earlier than Margot, he was in charge of her and he was smarter than her. That was a fun teaching moment. Gotta love it when you have to squash one of your kids cooked up dreams, down to reality. He understood eventually, what he was doing to sister was wrong pretty quickly and love prevailed. The twins are still stronger together. And his love for family is purely evident, especially when the Grandma’s are in town. He’s our little tank that will do anything for his sisters or friends. Another strong bet is he will increase his love for reading.