Happy SIP Mother’s Day from HKfamily5

As we all hunker down, as we all try to keep our distance one the first major holiday in the US. I know we are tired, I know we want some sort of human interaction. Just be sure to be mindful of this around you. Our family has reached 58 days but have responsibly respected the mask rule when entering public places and businesses. The role as a mother is more evident in this forced life experience. During this time, our struggles teaching our kids, finding patience while we are banging our heads on the walls or simply learning the art of listening and watching our kids struggle themselves. The rewards as mother or parent is realizing, you  yourself have limitations and we are all dedicate in our own special way. 

Whether you are a mother, father, or grandparent, the words don’t matter. The Mother aspect of this day is just recognizing the amazing person who takes on the role of providing care, while giving kids the structure to build them into adulthood. Recently a parent commented to me that I need to be more controlling of my kids lives, and make them be friends with a certain friend, to keep that family happy. To that I say, yah no! One thing I’ve learned in the last 12 years of parenting. Follow your kids lead, at the same time be aware and honest about your kids abilities and handicaps. Over these past few weeks of limited interaction with friends. I’ve found the kids more interested in sibling connection rather than one’s they left behind. This also harkens back to my own up bringing and realizing that even my own mother had these lessons early in my childhood as well. And all those questions, why weren’t we friends with that family anymore, have certainly been answered with my experiences. 

Over the past several weeks I have also revisited many, and I mean many, moments through my dreams of parents, grand parents and especially great grandparents. Most of these memories were major moments or happy memories. But several were moments or rather lessons of learning. My parents were strong figures in childhood and young adult years. That can also be said about my maternal grandmother and great grandmother. These lesson or rather passion and skill became heavily prevalent through Shelter in Place. Cooking has always been my passion. My mother, great grandmother and grandmother were the scions of this talent. Yes, cooking is a talent! I can remember at least three times when I was a kid I used that as my talent show-&-tell. From the infamous story which I memorialized my Grammie HERE.. And I realize really was not told in it’s entirety. 

The story goes, my parents had a weekend away planned for just the two of them. My siblings and I were dropped off at my Grammie & Grandpa’s (mothers parents) on Friday afternoon and the parental expected return was on Sunday. On friday evening I distinct  remember hanging out in the kitchen with my Grammie while she made dinner. I remember it was cast iron steaks with mushrooms and pepper, potatoes and her signature over cooked green beans.It a generational thing! As we went to bed I can imagine where my imagination was going that evening. 

The next morning my Grammie would tell the story of a dramatic phone call to my mother about the following events. She woke up early on Saturday morning to the noise of something clanging. Their bedroom was at the end of a long hallway, with the kitchen doorway at the opposite end. Then came the smell of sausage cooking and toast. She turned over to find my Grandpa still asleep in bed. She saw the window was closed and thought my brother might be up. As she checked in the bedroom next door to see if we were all three in bed. Only my brother and sister appeared to be still asleep. She walked quickly to the kitchen to find 5 year old Brian standing at the stove. 

There was no confirmed duration of how long I was cooking but the sausages or maybe it was ham, was pretty much done. Several toasts were done, the toast smell was a burnt on already sitting on a plate. The eggs were almost done, and I was already exploring coffee. All I remember of this moment was the eggs and toast and my Grammie screeching “Oh meu Deus” and telling me to get down from that kitchen that I had moved next to the stove, to cook. I vaguely remember the lecture and her telling me next time if I want to cook, I am to wake  her up or simply ask. My mother’s version included a phone call to the on vacation squawking how could she let her 5 year old son, cook on my own let alone at 6 in the morning. 

On this day, as I reflect on defining moments like this…….I reminded how my own kids have their own surprises. And their desire to cook is getting greater, I for-see Margot surprising us or a Grandma one morning. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. The memories serve as lessons for us all, but they are reminders in times like this. Memories give us hope, give us clarity, that through the fog of what is to come. There are more memorable memories to be made. To all you mothers out there or who have gone on to another place. We love you, we cherish you and we are forever learning from your lessons. Much Love HKfamily5