Paley 17th: DRIVEN TO DRIVE AND PEN & PAPER

It is unreal that I am writing Paley’s 17th blog post to celebrate her next year on her journey of life. Those 17 Years, of this amazing young woman, unfolds in my brain every day. Memory after Memory. Every high, every low, every winning day and hurdle she mastered or faced. One things is for certain, while our childhoods slowly disappears from our vision, and as we draw our focus on the future. It’s a lot easier for parents to look back at all the memories, for our soon to be adults. It’s a lot harder for the young one’s to let go.

As adults, we tend to see the big moments and milestones first, before all of the little details. Paley has been looking back more and more of her childhood and I can tell she feels like she’s looking something. Even during our college trip last summer, she shared how concerned she was about letting go of her childhood. We all look back, in hopes to not let go of our childhood. I think Paley, like everyone her age, are finding that in order to embrace the future, you do have to let go some moments of the past, and glimpsing back is the only way to keep moving forward. I like to blame it on the brains capacity to store large amounts on memories. Sadly, science has labeled the notion, the brain is not utilized to it’s potential, is simply just a myth, created by people who have no scientific training to even make such a hypothesis. The average human brains stops developing in their late 20’s, which means, if anything, the failure to retain data or memories, just means, you are just on a downhill trajectory and medical condition are really culprit. It’s a big reality pill, we all have to swallow. Learning to let things go and be open to new moments and experiences, is life less there.

Over the last year, this theme of looking ahead has made for a fun & wild ride for Paley. Shortly after her 16th birthday she got a good barrage of hurdles, that all students embark on during their sophomore year. First up was the great unknown of the AP testing world. Like so many students in her boat, she stressed and conquered the prep and even learned what kind of prep habits work for her in the end. It was a great lesson on how to deal with peer or teacher pressure of fitting yourself into others idea of the best laid plans. In the end she was able to find her way and got a score she was proud to have. She earned on her own, with all the challenges it presented.

Paley finished her sophomore year with a few last minute performances for her Theater class and then a big chop! Right after school got out, all three kids decided to got their hair chopped dramatically and it was especially a new chapter for Paley. She lit up greatly after the chop, gumption is the word I would assign the smile I saw for several weeks and a strong sense to make change in her life. This was all helpful with her next challenge that was presented with in June. Right after her haircut, she and I left for the east coast to embark on college tours around New England.

The trip was well thought out and well planned out. I wrote several posts on the experience, that will be shared later in her senior year. For now, the trip was an experience for both of us and the whole family. Paley and I spent a good week touring schools from Ohio up to New Hampshire. Then we turned the trip into a family vacation, allowing Clem  to experience the tours with her. Paley learned so much from this experience. The obvious lesson, she was able figure out what she was truly looking for in a college environment. She connected with current students which gave her insight to what she wants in terms of the programs being offered at the schools. The trip also opened so many avenues of communications between her and I. One of them being, parent and soon to be an adult. Learning to listen as a parent is so important in this big chapter of their childhood. The key I’ve learned is communication, letting them go is also a big part of that communication.

With the trip being a learning experience, this allowed her to move into her junior year with a clear path of what she need to do with her school year. One thing we all agreed upon was rolling back the number of shows she does during the school year. During her sophomore year she was involved in 5 shows. This year before her 17th birthday, she stuck to the plan and did just two shows. Allowing her more time to dedicate to her studies. The big crowning moment of her Junior year, for the Spring play she got the opportunity to conquer her first lead role in a play. Paley took on the role of Jack/Ernest in Oscar Wilde’s “The Important of Being Ernest”. She shined on the black box stage and truly enjoyed the company and director, who pulled together a great show. Earlier in her junior year, she also took on the role of Beth in "The Little Women.” Watching that show over and over, was truly a treat! Both of her portrayals were so strong, some of her best work out of the dozens of shows she has done the last 12 years. It’s remarkable that she has done so much in those 12 years. From school musicals in Kindergarten, moving to CMT and then focusing back at school shows in Middle/High School. Watching her and the many other talented performers over the years was truly a treat each time.

If Clem and I really looked back at some the amazing moments we have watched her conquer her fears and anxiety. They were probably all on stage! She comes alive every time she steps on the stage. I think we all experience anxiety to some degree when we stand up in front of crowd or on a stage. I still feel like my world is bending inwards when I step up to a podium or speak on video conference. But acting is not the only way she has blossomed all of these years. Her writing has really grown, and she’s already working on scripts for two plays. She has so many other ideas and projects in the works. Watching her write, is so inspiring!

The last year was certainly filled with a lot of glimpses into her future but its also had some familiar things coming to a close. Paley achieved her 8 year badge of honor at Camp Kennolyn last summer, also her second summer as a counselor. She truly enjoyed her many summers as a camper, but it was time to explore new things during the summer. That summer and like so many before, she become close with a crew of counselors that continues to this day. While I never did sleep away camp, I understand how you can meet friends for life in short experiences like going to camp. Will she go back as a counselor in the summer, we will see where that lands a year or two from now. But we might have to do a family camp or two, to give her two more years to her Kennolyn count. Maybe!

Summer of 2024 was action packed with the college tour but Paley did get a little of R&R and some shopping in NYC. We spent about a week in NYC, only seeing three shows instead of our regular 5 show trip. Paley was over the moon with the SUFFS musical which premiered that Spring. We even hung out after the show to meet some of the amazing cast. She even managed to grab a snap with her favorite leads from the show, Tsilala Brock & Shania Taub. Then I got us primo seats at the Kit Kat Club for CABARET. This new production originates from the West End and it is one of my “I WILL NEVER SEE IT AGAIN SHOWS”. I saw the 1998 revival with Cummings and Richardson, and vowed never to see it again. Then came the news Bebe Neuwirth was joining the cast (one of my all time favorite broadway performers, also another “I will never see again show” [Chicago].) I couldn’t give up the opportunity to see her in this amazing role as Frau Schneider. We were able sit two tables away fro the stage and it was a wild ride for the whole family. Another highlight from the NYC trip was the girls getting to finally meet the incomparable Patricia Field while shopping at her boutique.

From the big city we moved to the sea, settling in Provincetown for another week long stay at the beach. Lessons we learned from this trip, Paley is done fishing, and she loves one-on-one shopping time with her little sister. She even had a chance to adventure on her own as well as some beach time and playing in the ocean with her siblings. While beach time was a success, she did have a few more schools left to check out, which gave the rest of the family a good dose of what college is like these days. The summer trip as a whole was a great success, not only for Paley but as a family.

As she is turns 17, Paley is coming to a close to her 12th year as a Girl Scout. She was one of the founding scouts of her troop back in 2013 when two amazing parents started the troop. The troop has been a great adventure for so many over the last 12 years. She had three amazing role models leading the troop over those 12 years. The troop has grown to a group of women who have a connection not only through family but finding and building their lives together. All of them are now at 17 and still have meetings which is filled with laughter and so much more. While they have one more year together, watching these ladies grown and fly into adulthood is a gift in itself for all of the parents. We are so excited for Paley and her fellow scouts as the round out their last year as scouts.

Looking ahead to 17, we are excited to her Paley continue grow into her self and continue to explore this crazy world that we are living in. Looking towards her summer, Paley like so many Juniors, have a full plate. One thing she is finally jumping into, is working towards getting her driver license. As a Gen X, I think the reason why our 16/17 year old’s didn’t jump at getting her license, rests 100% on parents habit of driving their kids everywhere. I am certainly guilty of driving the kids to and from school for many, many, many years. Why get a license, when parent drives you everywhere! I can’t blame her, I grew up with two working parents, so riding my bike everywhere was my only option really. Regardless, she managed to finish the online course by time she turned 17 and has already gotten her permit. Those are wins.

Another big milestone last year was Paley’s return to 1724 Zinnia Lane. She was chomping at the bit to return to her true home base. While Clem and I are bummed she will call it home on a daily basis for less than two more years. Her childhood home will always have an open door to her when she’s ready to return to it in her adult years. Moving into her new room on our new second floor was a happy one. While her mural wall didn’t come to fruition, it doesn’t mean it won’t happen down the line. Originally we were planning on getting all the kids new furniture and a larger bed for Paley especially. Well, plans change and Paley chose to keep her twin bed until she leaves for college.

I think freedom is one of the big themes for her next year. We are excited to see her blossom more and more, and explore the world outside. This is such an important step towards the college years. While I joke about drinking, and being socially active, deep down I look forward to her sharing and living her best life, especially during those college years. A lot is slated during her 17th year, and like many other 17 year olds, the pressure is real. I am learning to reel back the urge to remind or plan. She really does have it under control, but according to her schedule. Not mine! We are doing our best to give her more freedom, but getting that license will certainly help her in the long run.