Paley 15th: Poetic Strength
15 already! Getting so close to her golden birthday, already! The theme for this birthday is most certainly, transition on a grand scale. Paley finished off her 8th grade year and middle school career. While middle school was a challenge thanks to COVID. She truly showed in the last year and half of middle school, she has it within her to manage and achieve her own goals. This year was also a wakeup that we have to start letting her lead her own path as she moved into High School. Exactly what middle school was grooming all of the students.
As summer approached, she was looking forward to her last summer as a camper at Kennolyn. Her last summer to chill and enjoy camp life. She has some reservations for the next chapter of her camp career. Next summer is the jump into being a counselor. Coming home from camp she was beaming and thankful for another summer of fun at camp.
As she turns 15, she comes off a very emotional year. Her Mimi or grandmother passed before the holidays and she did struggle during that period. For her birthday, that year were juggling a celebration of my mother’s life and scheduling her party. We did manage to organize a gathering of friends for a movie day. But the memorable moment that birthday month, was our families coming together to celebrate her grandmother. Spending time with her cousins really gave her strength and built her connection with them.
As summer began and camp was over, Paley was ready for lake life up in McCall. Another fun summer on the water, she along with her sister we living up every moment swimming out in the lake and on the dock. The hot tub was also another regular spot. Paley and I adventured off one day to do some bonding time, and even got a driving lesson on the books. She’s not 100% sure she is ready for the driving world but she certainly took to it. Anxiety is obviously not her friend, but then again, is it anyone’s friend. She conquered her anxiety in the end and the driving task at hand. We enjoy two weeks on the lake and had to come home early because High School orientation fell on the Friday towards the end of our trip.
High school is here, and she kicked off her freshman career with a lot of hope for new friends and excited for theater and so much more. She was prepared and I even helped her and fiends from middle school gather before school started for a BBQ, to give them hope for connections by getting them together. The gathering worked, and their lunch group was created and helped all of them survive the first year at a school where only 38 of the 500+ students in the freshman class knew each other. The result of this drastic change to their social lives did make it a challenge to crack into all the existing social groups that were formed at the other middle school, that fed into their new high school. It was a wake up call for us as parents.
As her freshman year began. Paley familiarize herself from the theater world at her new home in our community. She jumped in with her feet planted firmly on the ground ready for the ride. From being cast member and their haunted house event that ran for several weeks to , embracing the strong and passionate world of Greek mythology in up play called Kyklos mythos, which is a story combination of Greek myths unraveling the story of the Greek or ancient world. This was a new experience for Paley, although she had done Shakespeare more than once. Greek mythology is certainly, a whole new world for her. She truly signed shine bright in the experience so much so that when the opportunity to audition for an event called theater fest. In which all of the districts, high schools organize, direct in performing various snippets from plays, musicals, or personal projects Are brought together for one big show. When she told us she was interested in doing the event I had asked her what she planned on performing and she wasn’t sure and needed to think about it. During the pandemic, Paley started writing poems. At one point she was hoping to venture into songwriting a few years back, but privately she was writing small little snippets of things. About a month after talking about doing the special performance or auditioning for it, she finally came to us to say that she planned on performing for the audition poem. She hadn’t been writing for several months. Right before doing the audition I got a private reading of the poem. What came next was passionate poem that struck you right in the heart. Someday I’ll share this poem with everyone, but I think at this point in her life, it’s a moment or a memory that just needs to the church be cherished in the heart. What I will say, is That personal performance to a reading to her whole family, to being on the stage performing before the masses was one of the proudest moments we have had in her performing career.
Her eagerness to write in to share her self was refreshing. Something that most teens truly are scared of at times. That experience along with her performance in a Midsummers night dream was also a major milestone in the last year. Because Midsummer would be the last performance her Mimi would be able to attend and seeing, my mother there, even with my fears for her, having a heart incident or injury was rewarding in itself. I credit the perseverance of my husband to take care of my mother, and make that moment happen not for just for me, but also for his children. The poem Performance, at Theatrefest. Sadly, my mother had already passed, but, she was strongly felt in that moment as she performed on stage
Watching Paley and some her friend face the challenge in this new social jungle, was heartbreaking and had us thinking about the twins journey from Elementary and beyond and what really was the right path. I leave that subject for another post. Paley jumped into high school life feet first and was already slated for two productions at this amazing high school who has an exceptional theater program. First she was working evening at the haunted house the school host every year. Next she jumped into the mythic world of the classic Greek tragedies. She shined as the tragic Eurydice in Orpheus & Eurydice. Thankfully in her 8th grade year, Mimi was able to attend one of her performances on last time, and witness her perform in her favorite Shakespeare play, Midsummers Nights Dream as Helena. It was an amazing moment to have her there.
Moving into the holidays, Paley spent time volunteering at a food program distributions with her troop and we decided to escape the gloom and doom after my mother’s passing, by jetting off to McCall for their annual Winter Festival. The escape was needed by the whole family, but Paley most of all enjoyed the distraction from life at home and school. She did however, have to do some classwork while enjoying the snow world of McCall. Spending time with her cousin was the best part. As moved further in Winter, Paley had her first official dance, attending her high school winter ball. Yes, it’s sad but due to COVID, Paley never got a real school dance on her own in middle school. She went with her friends and had an amazing time.
When I look at Paley in the last year, I don’t see the little girl anymore. I see a young woman appearing before me right in the moment. Her eagerness to learn more, to question, to doubt it’s just proof she’s becoming more and more her own person. I will admit I am the controlling parent who would buy all the kids clothes and at some point in time like continue to make pick out their daily outfits. Paley reminded me later in elementary school the importance of individuality when it came to dressing oneself. Which is the soul reason why I didn’t want a private school for my kids. I will admit, I was not fair in that assessment when it came to the twins. One could say it’s laziness on my part, but it was a conscious effort to make sure the kids had individuality when it came to presenting them selves to the world. I still at times have opinions, but in the last year I’ve made a serious effort to make sure that Paley can go shopping and find the things she wants to pick the things she wants. I still buy her some clothes once in a while and sometimes I get it right and sometimes I get it wrong.
As we moved toward February, Paley auditioned to participate in a district-wide competition and celebration of theater. She was writing a poem earlier in the school year and decided to use it a monologue for her audition. She came home that day and was beaming to tell us she was chosen as one of the three acts to perform on stage. That performance was amazing and the poem was just as amazing. The way she crafted the experience and feeling into the poem really hit you hard. Her performance was amazing and the biggest fete, was she shined on that stage all on her own.
With spring in full bloom, we are super excited that paley will get to celebrate her birthday with old and new friends this year. Last year we rented the beach house and hosted a sleepover. This year booked a private movie screening at a local theater to celebrate her big 15. Looking ahead at 15 I think Clem and I are becoming more open to her continued growth as a young adult. She’s probably spent the last five or six years reading, young adult books, and in the way, I like to believe that the books prepared her a lot better than Clem and I. My hope is that boils and values have wrapped off from us more than anything else. All teens struggle in these years, developing into the young adults they hope or want to be. Little while ago, I posted about Judy Blume, commenting about books being banned, and how books are truly the way we find ourselves and become who we would want to be. I look back now and books truly did guide me in a direction. But the sad truth is.Today kids have so much more shaping them with social media. Late in 2022 I offered for paley to finally have a social media account on instagram or something similar. Paley chose to stay off of social media for another year because she first hand saw how the platform ruined friendships and even caused emotional of other kids.
Looking forward to her 15th year. Paley was the first of the kids to turn to me, and say, I am ready to move back into our house. I don’t blame her, after being in a home she has no ties to, this is going to be a long road for all of us. Finishing her freshman year doing more of what she loves will give her power and strength to keep focused on not only her passions but school. She is excited to finish her year off hopefully with more friends in life but more confidence in the classroom as well. She is looking forward to become a counselor at camp over the summer but is especially excited to see some of her friends again from camp. High School years are those special years. Not just for her but for us as parents. Watching her grow into being the citizen she wants to be is amazing. Recently, I had a run in with a friend about the polarization of politics in our society. Growing up my generation was wearing rose colored glasses, planted on us by our parents or textbooks. It might not have been everyone but we had a lot more to learn from the friends and the world we exposed us to. We hope our openness and educating the importance of being humane to all around is will give them a fighting chance in this world. Paley has come a long way from being young person into the concerned and empathetic student, who wants to learn more. BTW I am not worried at all about her driving a car!
Our hopes in this 15th year is to see her grow even more and continue to learn more about her own identity and continue to venture into new experiences that life presents in your teen years. High school is enough of a challenge and our trust in Paley has not waivered even when she struggles. Her eagerness to drive or change, is what makes me proud. It’s to easy to look at the flip side and push back to slow time down. I think Clem and I cherish that passion and really see her growth as daughter, sister and friend continues to evolve. We are lucky she speaks and listens to those around her. We are lucky she questions and keeps her ears and eyes wide open. We may say no in our heads but as parents we say yea because we want her to find value in asking or questionsing. Bring on 16.