Naming Process
Naming children can be a challenging task for some, and it can strain a couple’s relationship for others. In naming our oldest, I came up with a simple process. I kept the master list of names and whenever we came up with new additions, they would be added no question. Every few weeks Clem and I would sit down and cross off a certain number of names we don’t like. Early in the process that number can be 5 names on each list, later in the process that number dwindles to 2-3 names off each time. The desired result is a list of 3 names we liked to some degree.
We established rules based on our strong opinions on the kind of names we want for the kids. My name is Brian, pretty common and bland. I’ve always wanted my kids to have names that were unique. Not the kind of unique where we make up a new name, simply a name that is no longer used anymore. For our oldest, it was a name that wasn’t even in the top 5,000 list of baby names. Our second time around my other half pushed back and asked me to ease up on that rule. I compromised and went from 5,000 to top 1000.
My desire for a unique name came from my observations during childhood. The kids with rare names were always referred to by the first name. While kids like me, who had a common name, ended up being called by friends, by my last name. I know it might sound selfish but I also feel it provides an identity when referencing someone. Meanwhile kids do eventually change their names as they get older. My spouse is a perfect example of that! He opted to use his middle name, Clem is ranked 14,797. Both of our birth names, Mark and Brian were top 10 names when we were born.
Another aspect of the naming restrictions are your gut opinions or feelings. First is how will the kids in school butcher your child's name. You have to come up with all the possible teasing versions of that name. One name I have loved for years, was Greer, it was on the top names list but I could easily see the kids screaming QUEER GREER or most recently there was Pegeen which would go nicely with PIGGY PEGEEN. Kids are cruel! You also have the common opinion reasonings to remove a name. The obvious ones are:
I know someone with that name!
That’s the name of someone I didn’t like in school!
That sounds like a porn star name!
It’s to similar to a family name!
It was the name of a previous pet!
One common question parents ask other parents, how did find the names?
We bought the books (complete waste of money).
Think of your favorite movies!
Novels you love!
There are plenty of articles online about naming, complete waste of time.
One of our biggest sources (probably half of 115+ names) was both of our family trees on Ancestry.com. (Some of the names we took off were Rosemond, Cornelia, Landine, Darre, Kersdale, Haynes, Kimball and Andrade)
Here’s how the naming system works. We sit down at night and go over the list.
Round 1, 2, 3 - We each get to delete 4 names each from the list.
Round 4, 5, 6 - We each get to delete 3 names each from the list.
Round 6 and all subsequent rounds - We each get to delete 2 names each from the list.
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Rule 1 - Each name removal must have a reason why, no "I don't like it”. It’s a great way to understand your partner more as well.
Rule 2 - Vetos: For each round we each get to un-delete ONE name that was removed in that round. No take backs. Vetos have to be used each round, you cannot stock pile them and use it in the next round. You don't use it, you loose it.
Rule 3 - Third time is the charm. For two of our kids, I had the name Rhyme and that name survived three vetos because I’ve always wanted to name on of my kids Rhyme!
As you make you way through the list. You will get to a short list, that you can pick not only the first name, but maybe even your kids middles name.
Please Notes: I suggest keeping the list on your computer, make sure to keep notes about each change you make to the list. Especially keep notes as to the reason why each name is removed. Baby brain is a real thing and someday, conversations will come up as to why something was removed. Better yet your kids will want to see the list. Heck especially when they come to you about possibly changing their name.