Are you a stay-at-home parent? Then this one is for you.
Ever have those moments during the weekend where you notice that your kids are focus 100% of their attention on your spouse who works a 5 day work week and shows up just in time for bedtime or says goodbye to them while they are still rubbing their eye from waking up in the morning. All stay-at-home parents go through the “Remember Me” phase and sadly it does come back in waves. Your spouses work habit really dictates the timing or frequency. I married in the realm of the Apple Wives and which the spouses have to work long stints of late nights, which come in waves of blocks that can last 2 months to two years.
I am just going to come out and say it, what you are feeling when your children focus on your spouse, every weekend and all weekend, is valid. Is this jealous feeling wrong to feel? No, it’s our selfish nature kicking in, what you are really feeling can be compared to you being left out of the cool kid crowd growing up. Thoughts like, “where’s the love?”, “why don’t they run screaming and all excited to see me?”, “do my kids not like me because of how amount of affection my kids give my spouse?” and so much more. The bottom line, there is two answers.
- Yes, it’s all in your head! and that’s ok.
- You are doing nothing wrong, your kids love you more than life it self.
You just need to remind yourself of one thing. Your spouse is nothing more than “a shiny new toy that just pop’s up now and then” in your children’s eyes. Yes, that’s a horrible thing to say about your spouse but it’s the cold hard truth. While your spouse is sitting in a meeting or surfing the net at work and has delightful adult conversation on a daily basis at a restaurant or cafeteria. You are at home holding down the fort, drowning at times it feels. Those kids see you every day and will see you many days more. There appreciation lies in the those small moment through out the day that they flash a smile, jump around in laughter or randomly just grab your for a hug.
You have to remind yourself of all those moments, otherwise you will fall to fast down the well of “why don’t I”. The kids get too caught up in the now and when that working parents is home for more than 4 hours, they will soak up every hour and every minute they can get. Sadly the stay at home parents gets left in the rear view mirror. What you might not realize right away is, you really should enjoy those long hours of distraction, where you can relax. Of coarse you will be the hammer that rains on their parade when it comes to nap time, so get ready for those looks of death. Looks that scream “how dare you to take me away from this fun!” They love you, you just have to add up all those little moments.