Diary of SIP Parent: To iPad or Not iPad

We are currently in a week long (5 Days) detox from the screen. Early in Shelter in place I had many questions with other parents about giving our kids access to iPad all day, part of the day or not at all. The consensus was, we were all limiting or scheduling their usage. I was the latter option, while the kids were in school. I literally wrote the word iPad on the kids dry erase schedule on a daily basis and that was just for free time on the iPad. The kids also worked on education apps like Lexia (reading) and IXL (math, writing, reading, social science, history) on a regular basis as well. 

Before we started shelter in place the kids were getting a little better at their reading but Margot was veering towards not liking to read. This was noticeable the weeks leading up to the closure of the schools. Once they were home, one of the main educational tools the twins used early on in @ home learning was LEXIA. A Core 5 app that is used in promoting reading, using an achievement structure. After two weeks at home and doing Lexia 5 days a week, I found Margot actually asking to play on the app instead, rolling her eyes she had to read.

Now full disclosure, I have my own reward system for the kids. When they clear a level, they will get to choose one APP or Game to install on their iPad. Your might think that’s terrible but we heavily control what app the kids are choosing. What’s interesting is how the kids are now very careful about choosing their next winning  prize. I’ve found myself saying yes to the first choice almost every time in the last 3 years. That said, they still haven’t figured out that the free apps suck because you have buy stuff. I think Paley figured it out around 10 years.

Then there is the usage of their iPads. This is where many of us may differ when it comes to kids usage of iPads during SIP. To be completely honest, I am of the school of, you have to ask to use it! I’ve tried to do the whole screen time setting, but getting blind sided on long road trip or plane ride. When your kids iPad is locked because they exceeded the time and you can’t remember the passcode you used for the parents lock, because it’s back at home on your laptop. I have wiped all those setting off and now they just need to ask. I know there are apps and software out there that work better, I’ve tried two of them. Lets just say, I end up paying money for something I can never get 50% setup. 

Do my kids probably use their iPads too much while we are SIP? Yes. Do I give a shit? No, I am hoping this is not forever. Listen, my kids can play out front with friends, and go on walks, hike and bikes. That’s it.There is no meeting friends at the pool, there is no going to movies with friends and sitting next to each and building an experience, there is no petroglyph with a friend and having fun painting silly things. An iPad is not only entertainment, it’s also an outlet to reach out to friends and connect. 

We have rules and let me just say, SIP threw those rules out the door. Our oldest only recently started being interested in FaceTiming with a few of her friends. That’s my twelve year old. The twins on the other hand, Zoom blew open our rule of no texting or face-timing your friends till you are 10. At first I tried to monitor the flow of silly texts and FaceTimes through my phone. Wow was that a stupid idea. Nothing like getting texts from 7 year old at 9pm at night because they sneaked their device in to their bed or getting random FaceTime calls from kids.

Let's be honest here. Our kids are experiencing something none of us or parents ever experienced. Will their eye sight be jacked up, because I never bought into the whole blue light glasses, probably. I am well aware of the blue-light-sensitive ganglion cell photoreceptors that regulate circadian rhythms but I will be honest, my kids in the last four months have not complained about dry eyes, blurred vision or headaches. The first week of march the kids actually went in for the wellness check with our family optometrist and all three got a clean bill of health.

The challenge we all have with our kids on these devices, is being aware ourselves the kids daily usage. I try on a daily basis to break up their usage with outdoor play, walks, journaling, use the device for education purposes, writing letters or simply reading a book or two. That’s the best we can do right now. As parents, we are also in a situation of trying to find time for ourselves. I’m a parent of three, I really feel for the parents with just one or even 4 or more. We all have different experiences at home, and no matter how much are doing or not  doing. We are all just surviving. Universe help us when school starts again. 

I am finishing this post well after our no screen week cleanse. What was learned from it, we made it happen, which I am proud of the kids. To be honest, I don’t think it really does anything for the bottom line. I didn’t do the cleanse because the kids were getting obsessed. Honestly, I did it to feel like I have more control or to feel less like I am letting the kids run the show. I don’t think we will do it again. My husband said it went, but when I had be away from the house, my kids were texting me, “what do we do now?”. A friend has instituted a no-tech day each week. I am considering this as an option. But, I will be honest, It might now happen. We will see if the screen wins or not. For now, you do you, and I will do me! Good Luck.