Happy 77th Heavenly Birthday MimiLMK

It’s now officially two years since my mother celebrated her 75th Birthday. We celebrated Mimi’s birthday almost every year from the day our eldest Paley was born in 2008. For her last birthday, which she wish on NYE of 2022 to see before she passed. Our family got hit finally with COVID. We did celebrate with her, but from afar, in a parking lot. Linda was already living in a senior living community, just down the street from our home. Five days later I would stop by mom’s apartment for our first official visit since quarantine and she was ecstatic I was there to see her finally. Then a few days after that, we stoped by her apartment as a family with the pumpkins we picked up for her that day.

The following week it was Halloween, and on a school day. The kids got all dressed up, and after school got out, we stopped by Mimi’s apartment to show of the kids costumes. She was sad to have to miss halloween in person, with trick-o-treaters and all. But glad she was able to celebrate one of her favorite holidays. My mom was one of those mom’s who did it all really. From an awesome cook, to making her kids costumes from scratch. I love seeing all the store bought costumes photos from the 70’s and 80’s resurfacing. I remember those costumes in the stores and wish I could have one of those. Instead I have incredible memories of going to the fabric store next to Mervyn’s in Dublin some time in September, and then spend a month, watching my mother make us costumes.

From my sisters angel costume with the clothes hanger halo, to the real velvet wizard costumer, with cape, hat and and all, covered in silver cutout stars made in silver lame. I still have that costume in storage. I hope to pull it out one day. There was also my brother’s JaWa costumer from the late 70’s. Someday I will have the time to pull this photos in our costumes and do a post. For now, I focus instead on the memories that are left behind by my mother.

The past few months have been really strange for me. A new chapter and new emotions that just seem to flood over me. Recently I got news of distant family member passing and then a couple we know possibly splitting up. I was hit like a brick wall with a good dose of reality and a need to pay more attention to my family. I reflected on why I was so heavily effected by this news and came to realize, while I am starting a new chapter, after ending 14 years of non-stop volunteering at schools. I was now in a position to stop and breath. It’s an odd time really, between the remodel on HKcorner5 to all my volunteer commitments nows mostly over. I still have a few left over, and I’ve kind of started a few small scale opportunities. Taking back my life is really opened me up to the emotions I kinda surpassed, especially after my mother’s passing.

If you have lost both parents, you know that sense of emptiness that’s left behind. My mother and I talked about this emptiness about two years after my grandmother passed away in 2014. We were at the beach house sitting on the deck, talking about all the trips we did in the 80’s and 90’s to Aptos. I remember that conversation a lot because she made a point to remind her of what she went through with her mom in that two years leading up to her passing. Granted my mom was almost 20 years younger, when she would pass. My mom dealt with a lot more than me and my siblings did, because my gradmother’s dementia would progress rapidly the last two years on this planet.

I try remember those conversations with my mom every so often, not to remind me of good times, but remind me, how I want to go out in this world. Remember the good times is easy, but thinking about making my kids bear the stress of my failing health eventually, scares the hell out of me. I know I like to say, the real reason we had kids, is to insure we don’t die alone. In truth, my hope is to have a glimpse of someone I know before I pass. Both of my parents were sadly alone in the end, but both of them passed in their sleep. Certainly a more peaceful experience for those you leave behind. My mom loved having the family together on her birthday. Having your birthday around a major holiday really prompts that want or need. Growing up my parents always made sure we had a special dinner on her birthday. Just like she made sure that I had a family birthday dinner and friend party for my birthday, which was six days before xmas.

Another year passed, but still feel her in our lives. Moving back into the HK5corner is going to be an interesting transition with Mimi. Her birthday in 2025 we will certainly have to do it up big. She would have loved this house! She truly wanted to see it come to life. She’s been watching the whole time, and I’ve been bitching to her about any problem that would arise, mostly with the architect. So glad those days are gone, and when it was rough, she didn’t have to see me so stressed out.